My Miss. Luma (DRER)

I’m so grateful for my Miss. Luma. I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with the character Miss. Luma from from the show “Cherish the Day” but I love this show. Along with Miss. Luma’s character, there’s a younger woman, a character named Gently. Gently is charismatic and ready to take on the world.

What I love the most about this show isn’t the obvious love story that’s told between the main male character (Evan)and Gently, but the love story between Miss. Luma and Gently. Miss. Luma is a retired actress who has lived a full life. Miss. Luma is full of wisdom and experience. Gently is the caretaker and helper of Miss. Luma.

While this job that Gently has taken on helps her financially, she has no idea how much Miss. Luma is guiding her and helping her to navigate through certain situation in her life. Gently’s character is a little rough around the edges and when I say rough, let me paint a picture for you. A cookie that you may’ve let cook a minute to long but when you bite into it you realize they taste better this way and from here, you decide you want to prepare your cookies this way. Not everyone can appreciate this tough cookie but she’s warm moist and gooey on the inside. Gently’s issue is she’s a tad naive and inexperienced when approaching love but she’s amazing.

It was nice to see an older woman teach and guide Gently. Miss. Luma is loving, caring, stern and supportive most importantly. She is unwavering and stands by Gently. They do this for each other.

Do you know what’s better than watching this relationship play out on a tv show? Living it!!!

My Miss. Luma came into my life at a time I felt was the happiest I’ve ever been. It was an instant connection. When I looked at her I was in awe. This older woman that looked like me had obtained a level of success that I only dreamt about. She was smart, professional, fun, and real. Most people were intimidated by her success. Shit in my eyes she was a rockstar. She lived her life so free and unapologetically. Some of the things she was into people would turn their noses up at or think it was weird but not me. I’m thinking where was this woman when I was growing up…lol We literally just call to check on each other and end up on the phone for hours.

When my life flipped upside down she was there. Outside of my best friend I’ve never let anyone see me so unraveled. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way before. This upheaval that was occurring in my life broke me down badly. How do you go from fighting for your life to wanting to take it. (Another story for another time) This woman literally hid me and sheltered me from the chaos. Even from the pitfalls of my own mind. She replaced the negative thoughts I was telling myself with words of life and comfort.

All of my life I’ve had woman around me. None of them have been vulnerable enough with me to share their story. Their hurt and pain. Their bumps and bruises. Not my Miss. Luma. She let me know one, that I would be fine, and two that she saw me. We spoke on another level. Woman to woman but also spirit to spirit. She put herself on the line, and let’s face it, most people ain’t about that life. This woman took me to the water, nurtured me and place my slipped crown back on the top of my head. I don’t know honestly what my Miss. Luma see’s when she looks at me, but when I look at her I see possibilities of what life could be. I see a woman that has been through somethings in life and came out on the other side. I just love her. She speaks life into me whenever I’m in her presence. She’s fun, adventurous, well educated, well travel, a straight shooter and open minded.

I hope and pray you get to experience this kind of connection. We all could benefit from a Miss. Luma

I dedicate this to my Miss. Luma and all of the healers in the world.

Ms. Divine is What They Call Me

You don’t get to tell me who I am when you yourself are a walking paradox. Nobody uses salt anymore so why does it seem to be the only seasoning you use. It’s really not that good for you but what do I know. I know you don’t get to tell me who I am, when illusions are your go to. I’m divinely guided and protected. I see it all without any verbiage. You don’t get to tell me who I am because I only answer to one, and I am one with the only one which means, you don’t get to tell me who the fuck I am.

Gucci Shades

Have you ever wondered why it was okay for you to be down but not okay to be up? Think about it. Reread the question if you have to. Why is it okay to be amongst people in your life, be it your social groups, lovers, or family, down and not doing okay? Have you have ever been super down. I mean down bad. Nothing is going well kind of down. Your life is just totally out of balance. The people around you have witnessed your pain, you’ve shared some of your darkest moments with them. Hell, some of them were there to “help” you out of that place. Then those same people will then look at you differently because you’re in a position where you can help yourself. Then out of nowhere you now feel like you have to defend yourself because you’re no longer down.(make it make sense) In your head it’s just a break from being broken and being able to breath a bit without stress and the heaviness of what had you down. You would naturally think these people would be happy and excited for you. Some of them you may have even looked up to. The hard truth is not everyone wants to see you happy or see you win.

If you’ve ever been down bad, when you come out of it all you can think about is finally being able to be there for the people that have been there for you. Somehow you’re faced with the “oh you’ve changed” conversation. Your response should be “you’re damn right I changed” and I mean that in the most humble way. It’s okay to not be broken or broke anymore. Coming out of darkness and stepping into light is a wonderful change. Sometimes it’s not even a conversation, they just simply start treating you differently. (Thank you Divine) If that’s your story you have some power and strength that make some folks upset.

A lot of times we don’t see our power and strength right away but others do. They see the light that shines within you. It’s the very light that they were drawn to. These people often have insecurities that you’re unaware of. That’s not your problem especially if they’re unwilling to even acknowledge them themselves.

In reality these people never want you to see and know your worth because they already see it and it benefits them in some sick way. The light that shines within you was given by the Divine so never allow it to go dim for a demon. Shine so bright that the imp has no choice but to transform or flee. Walk in your power and truth and don’t go off your path for anyone or anything. Even if you’re forced to walk alone. Hold your head up and never let your crown hit the grown.

Wheel of Fortune

I choose to speak what I hear and see. It comes so abrupt but so naturally. In those moments it’s between you and me. I hear it so clear but I dismiss it like a school day ending. I allow my time to be filled minute by minute. I replace it with self doubt or criticism from others. A black hole of never ending stories. I plead, I beg, and I cry. I promise I won’t do it again. Again happens again. The process starts from the top. I choose to speak what I see and hear. It comes so abrupt but so naturally. Wait wait wait. How does that saying go? I know you hear me but are you listening though.

Justice for Breonna Taylor

As I lay in bed my mind can’t help but drift off to the worlds current events. The killing of unarmed black men, women and children at the hands of the police. The sad truth is, this is nothing new. The only difference is there’s a huge spotlight on it because of technology and the public is demanding that these officers be held accountable for their actions when unjustifiable force is used. One case in particular that keeps running through my mind is the Breonna Taylor case. The narrative is the cops “thought” they were there to pick-up a drug dealer that lived at Breonna’s address.They were wrong. In fact the person they were looking for lived somewhere else and was already in police custody. They were there using something called a no knock warrant. This is where the cops can come into your house unannounced. In most cases they come at odd hours hoping to catch the perpetrator asleep. This tragic mistake was the cause of Ms. Taylor losing her life. How does a mistake like this happen?

When I see the pictures of Breonna, I see myself, my friends, and my family. I see a young woman who had dreams, goals and ambition.A young woman that wasn’t afraid to chase those dreams. She was so full of life and full of potential. I often wonder if Ms. Taylor even knew or understood what was happening at the time of her murder. I wonder what may have been going through her mind as she heard something unfamiliar in her home. I turn to look at my love as he sleeps. My mind then thinks of Brionna’s boyfriend, Mr. Kenneth Walker. As a man, he did exactly what he was supposed to do, protect his home and woman. I’m almost positive this was his only reason for having a gun in the first place. A gun he legally obtained. I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I was in that situation, where I had a unannounced person in my home. I too could’ve been Breonna.In that situation I think we all could’ve been Mr. Walker and Ms. Taylor. I can’t imagine what this has done to not only Breonna’s family but to Kenneth as well. He knows he did nothing wrong but is now being charged with attempted murder of a police officer after they broke into his home and killed his woman. Just think about that. Someone comes into your home unannounced and flips your world upside down . I think about all the many conversations Breonna and Kenneth probably had about their future together. Maybe marriage and starting a family, maybe relocating or just growing old together. What does that do to the psyche? How does one even begin to function after witnessing that.How does one not blame themselves for not dying too or wish it was him instead of her. How does one even begin to process this. I could imagine that Mr. Walker is angry, hurt, confused and traumatized. I would imagine he will suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). This is something he will be haunted by for the rest of his life. All I know to do is to pray for him and to fight for Breonna to prevent another person’s life from being lost in this tragic way.

Earlier this month a law was passed called Breonna’s Law. This law requires that a officer would have to have a judge or high ranking officer sign off on the warrant and that no knock warrants only be used to detain suspects that are violent and that cause a threat to officers and or the public. In addition body cameras must be turned on when the warrant is being served.

Kudos to all that fought to have this law passed. It’s definitely one step in the right direction, but how in gods name is a law passed and not a single person has been charged in Ms. Taylor’s death. To pass a law tells me that you see that the approach or law that was previous on the books were flawed. How does a person kill someone and walk away basically saying “my bad” and all is suppose to be well. No, that’s not how that’s supposed to work. If I, you or anyone else for that matter “accidentally” killed someone we would be locked up and charged with something. This is not the case with the cops that killed Breonna. Nobody had been charged. A life was taken and nobody pays for it. A law was passed named after the deceased and still no arrests. This is wrong and all the officers involved need to be held accountable.

If you think this is wrong raise hell and use your voice to create the change you would like to see. Here is some information you can use to help get justice for Brionna.

Contact:

Mayor Greg Fisher

(502)574-2003

greg.fisher@louisvilleky.gov

Attorney Thomas Wine

winejcook@louisvillekyprosecuter.com

Governor Andy Beshear

(502)564-2611

Attorney General Daniel Cameron

(502)696-5300

attorney.general@ag.ky.gov

LMPD Chief Steve Conrad

(502)574-7660

This Little Light of Mine

This is what you see!!!
This is what I see!!!

I turned over and I immediately screamed from the pain. I was burning bad. I looked down and realized my skins was rubbed off. I sit up to grab water and I literally could feel my skin pulling apart. The first thing I thought was they said this shit was easier than chemotherapy. Let’s just say they lied. I get up to grab the bottle of Tylenol with codeine to ease the pain so I can get my day started. After about twenty minutes the pain subside barely but enough to get out of bed to grab coffee. By time I finish my coffee I’m sick to the stomach. I take zofran to ease the nausea. After a meeting with the porcelain god, I jump in the shower and awkwardly stand because water directly on my skin is enough to make me faint. I clean my wound, get out and dry off. I stand in the mirror and look at what I’ve physically became. My once beautiful butter pecan skin is now scarred from the port placed in my chest and now from the effects of the radiation. I look at myself and think look at you girl. I looked like a monster. I’m cut up, burnt up, bald just a monster. As tears role down my face I grab the jar of burn cream and smear it all over my breast and under my arm to help protect my skin. I pulled myself together and walk out of the bathroom. I got dressed walked into my sons room and became his mother and teacher. I asked him was he ready for breakfast with a smile. A smile that on this morning I had to force. I’m mentally and physically pushing myself. This is a daily fight. I Cry, pull it together and go out smiling. Some days are great while other days I fail miserably. I feel like I’m a strong person but dammit I don’t like to prove it all the time. I’m saying all this to say. Don’t be fooled by your friends and family. The strong ones. Don’t assume they’re okay. Don’t allow yourself to be in a persons life and tell them how you love and care about them but never even know they’re struggling. Step out of yourself and be a light to someone else. We’re all out here trying to keep our heads on straight. We all need a little extra support right now especially with covid. People’s lives have been flipped upside down. We’re all human and have human emotion. Close your eyes and think of a time where you struggled and what you needed during that time or wish you had? Well go be that to someone else. Spread love and light. I love yawl ✌🏽&💜